CriticalFumble.net Forums  

Go Back   CriticalFumble.net Forums > Play-by-Post Games > Merry Marauders

Merry Marauders Mouser's PbP game.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 08-13-2014, 12:37 AM
Paulypalooza's Avatar
Paulypalooza Paulypalooza is offline
Worst. Post. Ever.
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: sector ZZ9 plural Z alpha
Posts: 5,329
Paulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouser View Post
"You need training, Troop Leader. Otherwise, how are you to lead your platoon? Now tell me. Where would you like to sell cookies?"
"Cookies? Do I look like a fucking girl scout? I'm a goddamn Marine. Now as Troop Leader I am ordering you to open this door."
__________________
Life is a war. Every man needs a sword - Origen

Why garlic you ask? Garlic don't need no stinkin' reason. - Alton Brown

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all in the end.-
Kurt Kobain.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 08-13-2014, 01:18 AM
Mouser's Avatar
Mouser Mouser is offline
Manly and Impulsive!
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Barging into your shuttle...
Posts: 21,487
Mouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulypalooza View Post
"Cookies? Do I look like a fucking girl scout? I'm a goddamn Marine. Now as Troop Leader I am ordering you to open this door."
"You are incorrect in one respect. You are a Marine Recruit, not a Marine. In the other, you are entirely correct. And you're the Troop Leader!"

There is a momentary pause...

"Of a bunch of girl scouts. Accomplish your mission well, and you may become Platoon Leader once again."

At that, the door opened to a scene in springtime suburban Connecticut.

The birds sing, crickets chirp, and ten prepubescent girls in green uniforms stand around you awaiting your instructions. Each is armed with a clip board, pen, and many many forms.

You hold in your hand a pouch with a lock on it. The key is in the lock.

You are also wearing a uniform. A green one. With a sash and patches.
__________________
"Great Marine commanders, like all great warriors, are able to kill that which they love most - their men."
-Cpt. Nathaniel Fick, USMC (ret.)

"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
-Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
-Terry Pratchett
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 08-13-2014, 02:30 AM
Paulypalooza's Avatar
Paulypalooza Paulypalooza is offline
Worst. Post. Ever.
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: sector ZZ9 plural Z alpha
Posts: 5,329
Paulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouser View Post
"You are incorrect in one respect. You are a Marine Recruit, not a Marine. In the other, you are entirely correct. And you're the Troop Leader!"

There is a momentary pause...

"Of a bunch of girl scouts. Accomplish your mission well, and you may become Platoon Leader once again."

At that, the door opened to a scene in springtime suburban Connecticut.

The birds sing, crickets chirp, and ten prepubescent girls in green uniforms stand around you awaiting your instructions. Each is armed with a clip board, pen, and many many forms.

You hold in your hand a pouch with a lock on it. The key is in the lock.

You are also wearing a uniform. A green one. With a sash and patches.
Brock looked at his uniform and the girls with disgust and disbelief.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me!"

Well at least he spared the indignity of a skirt. Brock took a deep breath and gathered himself as he took in the scene. He looked to the horizon in all directions as he spoke.

"You know what? Fine, fine computer. Fine i'll play along. Just remember computer this recruit has spent more time in the mud, shedding more blood than you will ever know."

When this failed to get a response he added hoping something with a pulse was monitoring his training. "And I won't forget this when I do get out of here."

Brock squatted down so the he was at eye level with his "troop." Then he turned the key on the pouch with hopes of finding orders inside.

"Gather round girls so I can show you what a glitch looks like."
__________________
Life is a war. Every man needs a sword - Origen

Why garlic you ask? Garlic don't need no stinkin' reason. - Alton Brown

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all in the end.-
Kurt Kobain.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 08-13-2014, 07:50 PM
Mouser's Avatar
Mouser Mouser is offline
Manly and Impulsive!
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Barging into your shuttle...
Posts: 21,487
Mouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Brock looked around and saw piles of cookie boxes head high that were stacked just behind him. He could not see past them.

Inside the locked bag was a bill for the full amount of cookies he was required to sell, in his name.
__________________
"Great Marine commanders, like all great warriors, are able to kill that which they love most - their men."
-Cpt. Nathaniel Fick, USMC (ret.)

"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
-Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
-Terry Pratchett
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 08-13-2014, 08:28 PM
Paulypalooza's Avatar
Paulypalooza Paulypalooza is offline
Worst. Post. Ever.
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: sector ZZ9 plural Z alpha
Posts: 5,329
Paulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant future
Default

OOC: What gear/weapons, if any, do I have?

EDIT: and how much is the bill for?
__________________
Life is a war. Every man needs a sword - Origen

Why garlic you ask? Garlic don't need no stinkin' reason. - Alton Brown

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all in the end.-
Kurt Kobain.

Last edited by Paulypalooza; 08-13-2014 at 08:34 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 08-13-2014, 09:18 PM
Mouser's Avatar
Mouser Mouser is offline
Manly and Impulsive!
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Barging into your shuttle...
Posts: 21,487
Mouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulypalooza View Post
OOC: What gear/weapons, if any, do I have?

EDIT: and how much is the bill for?
OOC: You are equipped with your uniform, a locked bank deposit bag, change in dollars, a shit-ton of cookies, whatever might be behind the shit-ton of cookies, and ten prepubescent girl scouts who are looking to you for guidance and motivation.

The amount of the bill involves many zeroes, but is not important.

Sell the cookies so you can make the leap and go home, Sam, and thank Fr-d that I didn't put you in a skirt.
__________________
"Great Marine commanders, like all great warriors, are able to kill that which they love most - their men."
-Cpt. Nathaniel Fick, USMC (ret.)

"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
-Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
-Terry Pratchett
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 08-14-2014, 10:04 AM
Paulypalooza's Avatar
Paulypalooza Paulypalooza is offline
Worst. Post. Ever.
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: sector ZZ9 plural Z alpha
Posts: 5,329
Paulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant future
Default

Brock took stock of the situation.

He was stuck in VR with a buggy computer that just made him a girlscout troop leader and wanted him to sell cookies.

The rest of his squad was nowhere to be seen.

He didn't know if his squad was still in a VR world or had been released.

He had to assume that there was a problem with the computer back in the real world. No way this was part of his training to become a marine.

Brock grabbed a box of cookies off the pile and munched on one as he walked around the pile. "Damn, that's a lot of cookies."

"All right girls." Brock said in as gentle a tone as he could muster in his current state. "I take it you've done this before. How do we start?"
__________________
Life is a war. Every man needs a sword - Origen

Why garlic you ask? Garlic don't need no stinkin' reason. - Alton Brown

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all in the end.-
Kurt Kobain.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 08-14-2014, 11:15 AM
Mouser's Avatar
Mouser Mouser is offline
Manly and Impulsive!
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Barging into your shuttle...
Posts: 21,487
Mouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond repute
Default

As he walked around the huge pile of cookies, he understood the immensity of the task he was facing. There were eight largr plastic folding tables.tables in a pile.

There was a huge storefront across the street with a glass window.

Inside, there was a meeting of large people, mostly women in bilowing dresses. Their faces revealed the danger he and his charges would soon confront.

He prayed for a moment.

Then he raised his gaze.

The sign on top of the building said "WEIGHT WATCHERS."

He needed to deploy his troops and set up a combat perimeter before that meeting got out or their would be blood.
__________________
"Great Marine commanders, like all great warriors, are able to kill that which they love most - their men."
-Cpt. Nathaniel Fick, USMC (ret.)

"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
-Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
-Terry Pratchett
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 08-14-2014, 05:38 PM
Paulypalooza's Avatar
Paulypalooza Paulypalooza is offline
Worst. Post. Ever.
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: sector ZZ9 plural Z alpha
Posts: 5,329
Paulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant futurePaulypalooza has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouser View Post

The sign on top of the building said "WEIGHT WATCHERS."
Brock's face widened into a huge shit eating grin at the sight. "Sweet heavenly glory. That right there is my ticket out of here." Quickly he marshaled his troops he still hadn't learned the girls names but there was no time for that now.

"You, you, and you." he said the cutest three of the bunch. "I want you three to meet those people as they walk out the door and direct them over here. Don't let a single one of them by you without letting them know we are selling cookies. After you talk to all the Weight Watchers in that building you talk to everybody else on the street. Nobody gets by you before you talk to them."

"You, you, you, you, and you." He said to another group "I want you at the tables at the tables after I set them up. Your going to be our sales staff. If anybody asks how much should they buy the only answer is more."

"And you two you are going to running cookies from the pile to our sales staff. I don't ever want to see those tables without at least ten boxes of each type of cookie on each one. Everybody ready? Lets go sell some cookies!"

Brock immediately got to work setting up the tables while the girls got their sales stations set up. Selling enough shouldn't be a problem. Those things practically sold themselves. Combine that with a bunch of people who liked to eat who were currently starving themselves and sales should be guaranteed. The only problems he foresaw were keeping up with the throng and possibly crowd control.

The latter was going to be his domain. Normally he would be apprehensive about taking on crowd control by himself but he figured the cute faces of his troop should keep the mob relatively calm and if not he should be able to take on any of the doughy crowd alone.

They were all set. All that was left was to wait for the doors of the meeting to open and let the havoc begin.
__________________
Life is a war. Every man needs a sword - Origen

Why garlic you ask? Garlic don't need no stinkin' reason. - Alton Brown

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all in the end.-
Kurt Kobain.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 08-14-2014, 10:12 PM
Mouser's Avatar
Mouser Mouser is offline
Manly and Impulsive!
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Barging into your shuttle...
Posts: 21,487
Mouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond reputeMouser has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulypalooza View Post
They were all set. All that was left was to wait for the doors of the meeting to open and let the havoc begin.
The doors opened and it was a bloodbath. screaming and crying hordes descended on you and your troops like the Battle of Little Big Horn. In the end, your troops emerged triumphant. Boxes were sold for twice or even three times their street value as the pile began to diminish.

At one point, the three girls who were guiding people to your tables gave up and began assisting with the sales.

As you closed the zippered bag and turned the key, an aura of light surrounded you and you found yourself in a darkened coffin. The green button that said "EXIT" was blinking.

"Well done, Platoon Leader. It seems you ARE sufficiently competent as a leader to sell girl scout cookies at a Weight Watcher's meeting. I tried to create a program wherein you would attempt to organize an orgy in a brothel with a bundle of hundreds, but I wasn't certain you could accomplish that feat. Hence the less challenging scenario."
__________________
"Great Marine commanders, like all great warriors, are able to kill that which they love most - their men."
-Cpt. Nathaniel Fick, USMC (ret.)

"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
-Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
-Terry Pratchett
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright on all original post text belongs to the poster.