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Bastards & Broadswords Origen's D&D 5E campaign.

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  #11  
Old 10-09-2013, 11:10 AM
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A war raged on Ferdinand's face, as suspicion and avarice grappled in mortal combat across his brow. Only one could survive in the impoverished atmosphere between his ears. He turned half away from his table-mate, muttering aloud to himself as he weighed the pros and cons and did a poor job of figures on his fingers a couple of times. He gave another suspicious sidelong glance at the the halfling, then returned to his weighty deliberations. Finally, his face brightened and he yelled out: "Hah!", slamming his fist into his palm.

He turned back to Kelvin, a broad smile upon his face.

"You got a deal, half-man!"

He spit on his palm (quite effectively) and held out his now-slimy hand:

"Put'er there!"
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  #12  
Old 10-09-2013, 12:23 PM
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Oh God. I was quietly wiping away tears just now in my cubicle.

Thanks for the laugh.

I will post on this tonight.

How the fuck does one do a spot check in 1st Edition?
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  #13  
Old 10-09-2013, 02:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimaera View Post

He turned back to Kelvin, a broad smile upon his face.

"You got a deal, half-man!"

He spit on his palm (quite effectively) and held out his now-slimy hand:

"Put'er there!"
Kelvin snorted and spat into his hand, then shook with whatever it was he had just hired, praying that the thing would not crush it. He got it back, mostly intact, accidentally (on purpose) spilling his mug of ale over it.

"Damn. Spilled my ale. Would you like another?" With one hand, he motioned for the tavern wench to bring him two more of the ales, while his other wiped itself off on the red and white checked tablecloth.
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  #14  
Old 10-09-2013, 03:52 PM
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"Yes sir! Another ale would be great!"

Ferdinand couldn't believe his luck. Admittedly, he erred by walking into one of those funnyboy places, but hey, he found a job! The half-man wasn't half bad (this thought burbled up as yet another snorfle of hastily suppressed laughter through his nose).
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  #15  
Old 10-09-2013, 07:36 PM
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Kelvin wondered at his good fortune. A meat shield should always be this expendable. He wondered if the poor bastard would survive their first encounter.

So many others hadn't.

He looked around casually for his first opportunity. Someone drunk enough to be easily taken, and on his way out with a purse still partially encumbered.
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"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
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  #16  
Old 10-10-2013, 03:47 PM
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Kelvin leaned forward and spoke to his new employee in a conspiratorial tone. "I would not normally visit such a place, but... There is a certain person who owes me money, and have come here to get it back. When I see that person, we will wait for that person to leave and follow. Then we will take the money back."

He looked around, still looking for a likely target.

"Until then, ale." He pushed his ale, still untasted, at Ferdinand.
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  #17  
Old 10-10-2013, 04:07 PM
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Ferdinand's face was scrunched up in a frown of purest concentration as he listened attentively to his new employer. Debt collection? He understood this. His heart went out to his new boss. He fervently hoped that their new association would mean an end to his hard luck and desperate turn to prostitution. With luck, the days of being taken advantage of by johns who would dine and dash (so to speak) would finally be over!
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  #18  
Old 10-10-2013, 07:52 PM
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Gronk was a true brute of a man, well actually half man half ogre. He stood seven feet if it was an inch and well over 300Lbs. If his size and fangs weren't imposing enough the war hammer that hung on his back finished the scene.

After Gronk had squeezed his frame through the doorway he immediately went to the bar. The barman was busy with another customer but he gave him no mind. "Gronk want ale. You give Gronk ale now."
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Last edited by Paulypalooza; 10-10-2013 at 09:37 PM.
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  #19  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:22 PM
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Kelvin saw the huge half-ogre walk into the bar and wondered if this was an opportunity.

He knew it wasn't a target. He would watch and see if this new sucker was as dimwitted as the moron sitting across from him.
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"Jerusalem is not a settlement."
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  #20  
Old 10-10-2013, 10:39 PM
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"Where elf Martin?" Asked Gronk after downing his ale in one gulp. "Who?" Replied the barman eager to get away but not sure how.

"Elf Martin owe money. You help Gronk find elf Martin."

Gronk had been a debt collector for some time now and was good at it. Not because he was a tracker, a skilled investigator, or had a network of informants. It was pure single mindedness. Gronk would chase down his target till he found him no matter what. It also didn't hurt that while no one seemed to want to talk to him they always seemed to tell him what he wanted to know.

"M-Martin" stuttered the barman "is upstairs with one of the girls. R-room 3"

Gronk made his way upstairs. The sounds of wood splintering, a woman screaming shortly followed by an elf screaming wafted down the stairway.
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